Hearing but not listening.

After a long day spent with my cousin Alex, I had much time to reflect on and discuss everything that had happened in my life over the past few months. We both had many things to talk about, since we hadn’t seen each other in over three months. It was refreshing to get a different perspective on certain situations that I still can get no answers to. Yet, I still feel as though I can’t make up my mind. Even though my head is telling me what I should be doing, my heart will always tell me the exact opposite. And I have to wonder: Why do I never listen to the advice of others. In the case of the confusing one, I know for a fact I shouldn’t talk to him. I know that talking to him only causes me to fall all over again. I know that when he doesn’t call I only feel more heartache and sadness. Albeit, I am learning how to deal with him not calling more than before, I still can’t help but have a little sadness. And at times, I feel like life is just wanting to play a big joke on me. Teasing me by saying “we’re going to have the guy you like call you all the time, but it’s not going to be anything more than that. Sorry.” Is this the universe’s way of making me stronger? A big coincidence? Or maybe the higher power really is trying to tell me something. But in this case, I’m hearing, just not really listening. I need to learn to take the advice of others to heart, because it seems as if some of them actually do know more than me. Maybe it’s because it’s 2AM, or maybe it’s because I’m running on four hours of sleep, but I am saying that I don’t know everything. Shocking, I’m sure. I also to need to make sure I realize that little things shouldn’t always get to me, because there are going to be plenty more times where life lets me down. And sometimes, you just have to roll with the punches.


Spencer