The 'Yes' Man

Hey there. Once again it's time for a new blog. So last Thursday night a friend and I decided to go get a smoothie around almost 2AM. I'm irresponsible, I know. Just wait, there's more. So after we got done around 3 we went back to my dorm and I was going to get some sleep. But when we were on our way in I saw some of the people of my floor outside. They wanted to go walk around campus and I irresponsibly went with them. We walked around for hours acting silly and it was a lot of fun. Then around 5:30 we all decided to go to Waffle House and eat breakfast. I literally had stayed out all night. The main reason I did it was to actually see what it was like. I was always a responsible kid in high school and I wanted to take a risk. So around 6:15 I arrived back in my room and quickly fell asleep. I decided that night that I would have to skip my classes that day because there is no possible way I could get up at 8AM and feel halfway decent. My floormates decided it'd be funny to knock on my door and wake me up around 10AM. I'm very grumpy when woken up, especially on low hours of sleep so this really didn't help my mood. I got up anyway and went to my 3rd class of the day. I really shouldn't have stayed out like that and I know it was irresponsible. I regretted it afterwards, just a little. This week got off to a rough start as well. My feelings have been all over the place since I started at EKU and things don't seem to be getting that much better. I fall for the wrong people, who I don't know I have a chance with. Yet, other people like me and I just can't seem to like them. Same stuff I dealt with in high school, only on a much bigger level. Tonight was also where it all crashed down. My bangs had been getting on my nerves so I told someone on my floor they could trim them, but he totally messed it up and now they look awful. I really wish I could just crawl under a rock and hide until they grow back. My hair generally grows fast, but that's still a week or two of embaressment I have to endure. But I really have to wonder: Why do I make these stupid decisions? From staying out late to allowing people to cut my hair, I have a problem saying no. Not all the time, don't get me wrong, but in certain situations I can't help it. And now I have to find some impossible way to live with the consequences of my actions. I really need to start defining my feelings for certain people and making my interest or non-interest clear as well. It's causing me so much stress and this is the very thing I'm trying to limit. I will learn from my mistakes and stop doing everything wrong. It'll just take time.