Don't Worry Now

Today, I did a lot of thinking and I'm really starting to see things I never did before. Or, rather, things I didn't want to see. But first, I better fill you in on what's been happening these past few days to better understand all this...I ended up confessing how I felt to the guy I first liked, but he ended up telling me to give up, basically. We decided to say friends, though, and I'm at least glad about that. I didn't want things to be awkward. The complicated part is that he also likes the guy who I was going to hang out with Friday. So, Friday came and I ate with said guy. I had a really good time and we made plans to hang out Sunday, which is today. I've had a few people tell me that this guy is a player and isn't good for me. But if you know me, you know I like a challenge and this is just the kind of situation I'm 'addicted' to. I know I shouldn't get myself into this but I can't help it. But anyway, today I finally am starting to realize that this isn't normal and it's completely unhealth. This project was to reduce my stress but, as of now, it seems like I'm only increasing it. I've decided that I may need to go visit the doctor on campus and look into maybe getting some sort of anxiety medicine. I'm still debating on that one though and I'll let you know when I make my choice. I'm just tired of feeling sad for no real reason at all. I remember a time when I was happy with my life and who I was. Why can't I just feel like that again?